Dont Act....

Please it will come to you as well you will think that your untouchable when actually you can be the most sickest person in the world so dont act all your life that you can fight anything because in the end when you cant fight any longer you wont no who to turn to because your to proud to admit to yourself and others around you that you have something wrong with you and you cant fight it by yourself....

Please.. Thats All I Ask

Goodbye forever. You were the only one who would help me through everything and now I dont no why but your the first and last person I think I ever will push away again. Ill never forget you. Everything I do will be for you because you were the one I trusted with my whole heart and now all you are is a person who knew me for a short time and now knows nothing about me and never will. I love you still but you just knew me way to well and im scared that if you find out anymore you will walk away from me and I couldnt live with that so I walked away first because I new it would cause less pain. You will forever be written on my heart because you are the only one who left footprints on it.

If I run then I dont have to face that I need help so if I just act like nothings wrong then you will never no whats goes on behind the mask. A face that is scarred from all the tears that run down it everyday the scarres of so long ago that just cant be covered with anything anymore. You will run like everyone who has seen it and im not ready for that yet because you mean to much to me now and I cant ever think of loosing you again.

So when your showering and you look at your arms is it right to see new bruises or scratches everytime?? Do I have to be that careful cos it is like if I walk into something so small I get a little black mark on my skin or maybe even a scratch. I dont no how and why they are there. The pills wont take away the little black marks I have to see everyday?? Nope they wont but I geuss that you wont me to take them so I have too??

Turn your back on me like everyone else has and all ill do is pretend like I dont care.

I saw you walking but I wouldnt let you see me because I didnt wont to see that one worried look you always have on your face everytime you see me ever since I told you.

The energy I once had seems to be so far away because I just carnt even find the energy to tell you whats wrong all I can is you wont ever know whats wrong because you never did care and you cant fool me into believing that you ever will. So just give up on trying because I wont let you in because I tried that once and all you did was turn your back on me.

Sugar is the best medicine for anything you can eat as much of it as you like and all it will do is bring a smile to your face for a short time but I geuss thats why its so good because it will never let you down. It will always keep the smile on your face...

Random thoughts....

Falling becomes a way of life. Falling down and not being able to stand up again without being dragged by my arms isnt, a way of life. But at the moment that is my life and not nowing whether I will be able to move my body when I wake up in the morning is something that I hope no one will ever face in thier lives. I thought it would never happen to me I would only dream of it but I geuss a persons worst fears can turn into real life.

The one person I thought I could turn to just turned there back on me.

OK you scare the freaken shit out of me!!

Leaving behind

He walks away and all you have
To do is turn your back to him
Walk away and
Never go back!!